Sometimes I let my guard down and actually tell people I hate Serbia. silly me.
They always look for some "reason", other than the obvious "it's a dirty, dysfunctional shit-hole, inhabited by proud primitives".
I've been here for some time. I speak almost fluent Serbian.
Let's get this straight. I hate Serbia because I DO understand it, not because I somehow don't.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Nosey Landlords
Another thing that makes Serbia a village society is how much people allow themselves to ask private questions.
Yesterday, when my landlord was collecting the rent, he entitled himself to walk through my entire apartment, opening all the doors. This time I knew better and just went along with it.
I've had this happen a few times. I just come home and landlord is there waiting for me. wtf.
One landlady threw me out because I was a spy because I travel too much. I don't even know what to say.
Yesterday, when my landlord was collecting the rent, he entitled himself to walk through my entire apartment, opening all the doors. This time I knew better and just went along with it.
I've had this happen a few times. I just come home and landlord is there waiting for me. wtf.
One landlady threw me out because I was a spy because I travel too much. I don't even know what to say.
Monday, April 30, 2012
flying to/from Belgrade
Flights to Belgrade anger me for 2 reasons.
1) it appears as though most people bathe in whatever free perfume they can get at the duty free. There's an expression in Serbian: "when free, even vinegar is sweet". It appears as though this proverb holds true. It's either that or every toilet-cleaner in Zurich is taking a few days off and going to put on some airs for their compatriots back home.
2) It astonishes me, every single time, to the point that it astonishes me that it astonishes me how child-like Serbs behave when the plane lands.
Look, We're all going to be on the same bus to the airport terminal. We're all going to the same passport control. We're all going to be waiting at the same luggage claim. Do you really think that leaping up and trying to worm you way to the front of the plane is going to get you home faster than me who's sitting pretty?
That is all.
1) it appears as though most people bathe in whatever free perfume they can get at the duty free. There's an expression in Serbian: "when free, even vinegar is sweet". It appears as though this proverb holds true. It's either that or every toilet-cleaner in Zurich is taking a few days off and going to put on some airs for their compatriots back home.
2) It astonishes me, every single time, to the point that it astonishes me that it astonishes me how child-like Serbs behave when the plane lands.
Look, We're all going to be on the same bus to the airport terminal. We're all going to the same passport control. We're all going to be waiting at the same luggage claim. Do you really think that leaping up and trying to worm you way to the front of the plane is going to get you home faster than me who's sitting pretty?
That is all.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
updating URL
I see some of my friends are coming here, now and then, to check for updates.
I'm considering changing the URL to a slightly less-aggressive serbian-misadventure.blogslot.com
If suddenly you find this blog non-existent, try serbian-misadventure.blogspot.com.
I'm considering changing the URL to a slightly less-aggressive serbian-misadventure.blogslot.com
If suddenly you find this blog non-existent, try serbian-misadventure.blogspot.com.
Friday, April 8, 2011
filth
Belgrade is a truly filthy city.
This post is probably useless with out pics.
most people drive cars that wouldn't be allowed on the road in the civilized world. Smoke from cars blackens the facades of buildings. Belgrade means "white city". Nothing could be farther from the truth. Dark-grey city would be more accurate. Belgrade has a population of about 2 million. The air pollution is that of a city 10X its size.
Graffiti is everywhere, most of it some kind of fascistic stamp (speaking to an entirely different variety of filth).
The main tourist information centre had "death to fags" written in front of it for about 8 months. In Serbia "death to fags" written on a wall isn't particularly controversial. After a 500-strong gay-pride parade walking around one block, thousands of thugs rampaged the city chanting "kill, kill, kill the fags" click here. I digress.
There might be more to be said on this.
stay tuned.
This post is probably useless with out pics.
most people drive cars that wouldn't be allowed on the road in the civilized world. Smoke from cars blackens the facades of buildings. Belgrade means "white city". Nothing could be farther from the truth. Dark-grey city would be more accurate. Belgrade has a population of about 2 million. The air pollution is that of a city 10X its size.
Graffiti is everywhere, most of it some kind of fascistic stamp (speaking to an entirely different variety of filth).
The main tourist information centre had "death to fags" written in front of it for about 8 months. In Serbia "death to fags" written on a wall isn't particularly controversial. After a 500-strong gay-pride parade walking around one block, thousands of thugs rampaged the city chanting "kill, kill, kill the fags" click here. I digress.
There might be more to be said on this.
stay tuned.
"why didn't you tell me before"
All of Serbia has gone to the Basil Fawlty school of customer service.
There is deep confusion amongst servers as to who is serving whom in any sort of customer-service situation.
the situation I'll describe is very, very, very common. I try to take it in stride. I've formulated all sorts of clever responses. I've practised them in front of the mirror. But, for some reason, whenever it happens, it surprises me. I fill with rage and imagine many violent things I probably shouldn't describe here.
some variation on this:
me: May I please have such-and-such?
.... oh... wait a moment. I'd like this too.
server: (angrily) WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE!?
Could you imagine such a scenario at a North American bank? (or anywhere, really).
"I'd like to change this $1000 into local currency"
-she reaches for a stack of $50 bills.
me: oh, could you please give me 20s?
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?!
Seriously... This happens 3 times a week: Bankers, waiters, store clerks, everyone!
wtf?!
There is deep confusion amongst servers as to who is serving whom in any sort of customer-service situation.
the situation I'll describe is very, very, very common. I try to take it in stride. I've formulated all sorts of clever responses. I've practised them in front of the mirror. But, for some reason, whenever it happens, it surprises me. I fill with rage and imagine many violent things I probably shouldn't describe here.
some variation on this:
me: May I please have such-and-such?
.... oh... wait a moment. I'd like this too.
server: (angrily) WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE!?
Could you imagine such a scenario at a North American bank? (or anywhere, really).
"I'd like to change this $1000 into local currency"
-she reaches for a stack of $50 bills.
me: oh, could you please give me 20s?
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?!
Seriously... This happens 3 times a week: Bankers, waiters, store clerks, everyone!
wtf?!
Friday, March 25, 2011
March update.
People are asking me if I have forgotten my blog.
I haven't.
It's just that I find I do my best writing when I'm feeling the hate and, while I'm feeling the hate, it's just not intense enough these days. Plus, since I'm not at the "want to kill randoms" stage yet, I don't want to jinx it.
But I'm sure I'll have a post soon.
Stay tuned for "Serbian propensity for believing profoundly stupid shit"
I haven't.
It's just that I find I do my best writing when I'm feeling the hate and, while I'm feeling the hate, it's just not intense enough these days. Plus, since I'm not at the "want to kill randoms" stage yet, I don't want to jinx it.
But I'm sure I'll have a post soon.
Stay tuned for "Serbian propensity for believing profoundly stupid shit"
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