Change

Common scenario in Serbia:

There's a bakery downtown (Toma) that has a separate pizza counter. Pizza is good, so there's usually a line-up of 5-6 people.

Pizza slice is 1.10 euros (equivalent in Serbian dinars)

Guy at the front of the line as a 2euro bill.

Girl behind the counter doesn't have change.

She harangues the customer for not having exact change.

She has to leave the pizza counter, wade through the people lining up at the other counter, beg her colleague to make change.  Colleague does reluctantly, complaining loudly every step of the way.   Pizza counter girl pushes her way back to the pizza counter, snapping at people to get out of her way and makes it behind the counter  (elapsed time, 3-4 minutes).  She returns the change and the next customer orders.

Next customer pays with a 2euro bill

She doesn't have change  :|


JFC

WELCOME Repats Serbia Facebook group visitors!

Woa.

I'd forgotten about my blog.  Haven't posted in a year and now the comments notifications are rolling in.

Checked the stats page, and I see my forgotten blog has been linked from a Facebook group.  This private/public therapy of mine probably got more hits tonight than in the last 6 months.

Glad you're enjoying.  Keep the comments coming!

Maybe I'll write a few more posts to keep you guys happy.

Belgrade Nighlife.

A few years ago, two newspapers separately included Belgrade in its list of cities with the best nightlife.

Serbs, ecstatic that someone was writing something about Serbia that didn't include the words 'genocide', 'ethnic cleansing' or 'ICTY', or things one typically associates with Serbia, jumped ALL over it.

It is now true for some, a-priori, that Belgrade nightlife is the best in the world.

So....  Sometimes in order to make small talk, and to elicit a compliment about their terrible city, I'll sometimes get asked "So, how do you like our nightlife??"

In a nutshell:  It's perfectly average and there's lots of it.

Most people are unemployed and live with their parents well into their late 30s, so there's lots of people to fill the clubs.  People tend to be physically attractive, so there's eye candy.

So, if you go out once in Belgrade, you will have a good time, or at least seem to.

Problems are:

Serbs are basically a-social.  No one is speaking to anyone outside of the group they came with (these will be the same people they went to elementary school with).

There is no sex.  Serbs tend to be a bit nervous about sex.  Chances of getting laid from a random at the bar are slim.  In my three years here, it's happened twice.

There are no drugs.  ok, so not everyone likes drugs, but they've gotta be around to qualify for the top 50 "best night-life cities


So, no mixing and mingling.  no sex and no drugs.

but it does stay open late and there's lots of it.

So, you're welcome to stay up all night and have people ask you how much you like Belgrade.


I gave up on it a while ago.

"you just haven't met the right people"

Sometimes I let my guard down and actually tell people I hate Serbia.  silly me.

They always look for some "reason", other than the obvious "it's a dirty, dysfunctional shit-hole, inhabited by proud primitives".

I've been here for some time.  I speak almost fluent Serbian.

Let's get this straight.  I hate Serbia because I DO understand it, not because I somehow don't.

Nosey Landlords

Another thing that makes Serbia a village society is how much people allow themselves to ask private questions.

Yesterday, when my landlord was collecting the rent, he entitled himself to walk through my entire apartment, opening all the doors.  This time I knew better and just went along with it.

I've had this happen a few times.  I just come home and landlord is there waiting for me.  wtf.

One landlady threw me out because I was a spy because I travel too much.  I don't even know what to say.

flying to/from Belgrade

Flights to Belgrade anger me for 2 reasons.

1) it appears as though most people bathe in whatever free perfume they can get at the duty free.  There's an expression in Serbian:  "when free, even vinegar is sweet".  It appears as though this proverb holds true.  It's either that or every toilet-cleaner in Zurich is taking a few days off and going to put on some airs for their compatriots back home.

2) It astonishes me, every single time, to the point that it astonishes me that it astonishes me how child-like Serbs behave when the plane lands.

Look,  We're all going to be on the same bus to the airport terminal. We're all going to the same passport control.  We're all going to be waiting at the same luggage claim.  Do you really think that leaping up and trying to worm you way to the front of the plane is going to get you home faster than me who's sitting pretty?

That is all.

updating URL

I see some of my friends are coming here, now and then, to check for updates.

I'm considering changing the URL to a slightly less-aggressive serbian-misadventure.blogslot.com

If suddenly you find this blog non-existent, try serbian-misadventure.blogspot.com.