Saturday, May 26, 2012

Belgrade Nighlife.

A few years ago, two newspapers separately included Belgrade in its list of cities with the best nightlife.

Serbs, ecstatic that someone was writing something about Serbia that didn't include the words 'genocide', 'ethnic cleansing' or 'ICTY', or things one typically associates with Serbia, jumped ALL over it.

It is now true for some, a-priori, that Belgrade nightlife is the best in the world.

So....  Sometimes in order to make small talk, and to elicit a compliment about their terrible city, I'll sometimes get asked "So, how do you like our nightlife??"

In a nutshell:  It's perfectly average and there's lots of it.

Most people are unemployed and live with their parents well into their late 30s, so there's lots of people to fill the clubs.  People tend to be physically attractive, so there's eye candy.

So, if you go out once in Belgrade, you will have a good time, or at least seem to.

Problems are:

Serbs are basically a-social.  No one is speaking to anyone outside of the group they came with (these will be the same people they went to elementary school with).

There is no sex.  Serbs tend to be a bit nervous about sex.  Chances of getting laid from a random at the bar are slim.  In my three years here, it's happened twice.

There are no drugs.  ok, so not everyone likes drugs, but they've gotta be around to qualify for the top 50 "best night-life cities

So, no mixing and mingling.  no sex and no drugs.

but it does stay open late and there's lots of it.

So, you're welcome to stay up all night and have people ask you how much you like Belgrade.

I gave up on it a while ago.


  1. If there's no sex then what of the estimated very large number of abortions in Serbia each year? You think that's a lying claim/statistics. Seems, on the one hand, Serbs are being blamed for taking the abortion-route out of unprotected sex, yet you are saying they don't have sex. One of you is lying: either someone making the claim to make Serbs look bad with abortions, or you making them seem overly prude and uptight.

    Speaking of uptight though, why don't you go to Slovenia. They are said to be uptight, yet very liberal and pro-gay. Slovenia is where your personality match would be. I guarantee it.

    1. Hey anonymous! Thanks for following my blog. I hadn't posted in months, and here you go commenting right away. you must have some sort of alert set up, and I thank you for that.

      explanation is easy. they're having sex with their elementary school friends.

      Anyway, thanks for enjoying my blog!

      Oh ya, as for the abortions thing, I hadn't heard it, but it makes sense. people who are uptight about sex are less likely to be honest about having it, therefore less likely to go on birth control.

    2. BTW, I said they don't pick each other up in the bar, not that they don't have sex, but thank you so much for your "one of you is lying". I need to make a post one day about Serbs' infantile, sometimes adolescent, and very binary relationship to truth and meaning

    3. Oh snap, those retorts were so good I had to reply to something now two years old haha.

      Just came across your blog randomly, have been reading it, I love your wit haha!

  2. You are missing the point. Serbian nightlife is about alcohol and "having fun with my friends".

    I agree, completely useless when you just want to meet new people and/or get laid :)

    1. I appreciate the validation of my experiences, Dejan :)

      Still, it makes no sense to me. If no one has the intention of communicating with anyone but the people they came with, why not stay home with your friends and a few 6-packs?

      This isn't "going out", this is the pretense of sociability. It's a presentation of "nightlife", rather than being anything I could imagine anyone finding interesting.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Oh I see. So in your home you're rocking a nightclub level sound system, (often) a live band, a view of the river on the river etc. etc. etc. hence no need for you to go out. Seriously, you couldn't be more skewed if you tried. The problem is, in the west, you're kinda average in your thinking. Like yeah, getting high of your fucking mind, yeah, it's the cool thing to do, yeah, you can't really have fun unless you're flying on coke, yeah.....And our politician assholes wanna takes into the EU.....the motherfuckers.....they're the problem. You on the other hand are just a nuisance at most....

  3. I recently spent several months in Belgrade and found that your only half right. While there is a portion of the population who only go out to see and be seen, neither mingling or even smiling most of the time; there is also a very lively mixer scene, where one can meet new people and laugh and dance and really have a good time. I had several chances to either go home with or bring home a young lady of recent acquaintance, but chose to keep it platonic as I am married and my wife was not with me. I found the night life to be enjoyable and the people friendly and relaxed on the whole.

  4. I'm enjoying this blog. As a Serb born in Belgrade & raised in London, I can identify with many of your rants. Nothing works, nobody gives a shit, & most Serbs are delusional. I think that probably sums things up. However I do love Belgrade nightlife. I'm a musician & I dj a little on the side. Many of my British & US colleagues rate BG as their favourite place to play. They keep coming back, & believe me it's not for the money. Of course flying in & playing a gig, & living there are two completely different things entirely.

  5. I wanted not to comment, because I know that my comment is just useless for people like yourself, and for people who are reading this and praising it, but I am forever and optimist so...
    In general, expressing your opinion is fine, but being so negative, it is sad. It is so sad, that I cried after I finished reading all the things you wrote, and things that other people commented on. Yes, Serbia is not some heaven on Earth place, but it has many things, and somehow you managed that after 3 years miss them all, according to what you wrote. Not that you don't understand it, we are not discussing Hegel here, it's just that you are apparently living your little sad life, that apparently sucks, and disregarding your lifestyle in North America, you came to some different place for unique employment opportunity for what? To make money? And what is that money mean to you when you are so sad, negative and frustrated person?
    I lived in North and South America, I live in Europe, and I live in Serbia, and my advise on this sad sad frustrated blog thingy is that go home honey. Go home, and be happy, don't stay in Serbia and torture yourself. Go home, and try to be happy and positive, or just start hiking, boost up some dopamine, you know.

    And, stop being so superficial and judgmental, work on improving. Maybe you should start with the STDs and mono and teen pregnancies in North America. Well, good luck with picking up some Serbian girl from the bar. Don't forget, use condoms, and try not to think how much you hate her. Oh, and don't mix your roofies with acid or coke when you offer her drugs....


    1. This is exactly the sort of weepy reaction I was hoping for when I started this blog :)

  6. I hope that you do not live in Serbia anymore, for your sake. It will destroy at the end since you have so bad impressions about people who live here :) But I hope that your blog therapy worked well :) So what are the greatest countries, cities for living?

  7. Hi,

    maybe you were in the wrong bars. ;)

    I live here 3 years and it's true, they don't jump in 2-3 hours into bed with you. They prefer to go out a few times like in every other city, ok some easy girls are everywhere.
    Funny is I got more phonenumbers to go out another time, during the day like at hairdresser.
    I'm now married to serbian girl and I wasn't with her in school ;)

  8. I used to come visit Serbia every summer (since I was born here) and never once got laid. When I told them where I'm from I got BS like yea and I'm from Mars, etc etc. Mind you I was a teen then, plus I didn't like the fact chicks are not open minded, like in North America. Here if you ask them whats your favorite position, or do you spit or swallow they will say THATS PERSONAL HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT!

    Whilst in Canada if a girl is up for a lil horizontal polka, she'll answer to prove she isn't some stuck up jesus freak.

    I agree about the people here establishing friends in school, and then guarding their group of friends like a treasure. However, many who get married, finally move out of home start to see their friends slowly fade, as priorities change too - and that is when its possible to make new friends.

  9. "So, no mixing and mingling. no sex and no drugs."

    you are most likely going out to wrong places.
    or you are being denied of pussy for being ugly or short. which is most likely the case. all these posts made me think you feel like you are of lesser value in front of some people in serbia.

    i may be wrong, but i just have that kind of impression while reading this blog.


      Back on subject. Well you probably go to the wrong places, try visiting SKC, KST, Bigz or Kolos more, the scene is much better. Note that psy in Serbia is among the popular genres so start going there.
      Serbian girls are promiscuous and you can fuck them the first but don't be an asshole to them. Btw. don't act like a foreigner cuz they really don't like foreigners, just be talkative, non-aggressive, don't go on ones that have boyfriends and you'll probably fuck them the first night (ask that guy above me why he got the name Droljo). You can even ask them into anal but for that you need to be normal, be the guy they can trust and not shove your dick up their ass or vagina when they don't like.
      If you really can't get lucky then take the paper ads and look for massaging services. Look for the younger ones which are more inexperienced but more beautiful and less expensive, they usually price their services about 50 euros for an hour.
      As for the drugs, you got me laughing. Belgrade is definitely full of it. You can find anything from DMT, Aco, shrooms, E, LSD, weed, cocaine, speed to heroin and the prices are much much less than in EU countries.
      Weed is 500 RSD
      LSD, Aco, E is 1500 RSD
      Speed is 1000 RSD
      Polutka (Heroin) is 750 RSD, lutka is 1500
      Coke is 40€ but since it's hard for you to find it they will probably charge you from 70€ to 100€
      But finding guys who sell drugs is really hard for foreigners and if they don't know you they will probably scam you, so I can't really help you there.

    2. I made some mistakes forgot "the", "night", wrote "not" instead of "don't", etc.
      Sorry for mistakes, I guess you'll understand.

  10. Serb chicks don't like foreigners, hahaha, confirmed by a Serb that serbs chicks are the most xenophobic racist bitches in the world :)

    So how would a Serb feel if he went abroad and no one wanted him cuz he's a foreigner? Only then he'd know how stupid Serb bitches are with their racist/nationalist attitudes :)

    1. ive seen quite the opposite here in serbia.

      chicks cant wait to receive foreign penis in their lusty vagina.

    2. >So how would a Serb feel if he went abroad and no one wanted him cuz he's a foreigner?

      I don't have money to go abroad, you know, I am a Serb.

      Also I don't know if you are trolling or something else but if your style is aggressive like in the post you wrote then no wonder you can't score. And no, they are not xenophobic. Just don't act like a stereotypical tourist that thinks he can get anything just because he is full of money.
      I just wanted to be of help, no need for such bashing.
      I can meet with OP if he likes and show him clubs, places and "other" stuff he can't find.

  11. I would like to visit belgrade and i have some girlfriends from facebook : maybe i have fun :) give me an advice friends and thnx

  12. There is no truth in this article, me as a Serbian woman know that Serbian women do love forginers in Serbia..There comes many buisness men from Russia and Italy that have sex with the Serbian women there. Many women just wanna be with the forginers for being forginer and sex is availble there just as drugs are easy to find..

  13. If you wanna roll fancy the bottle in Belgrade or Novi Sad will set you back as much as in Miami. Soooo Belgrade = Miami ? Don't think so

  14. Well I think you can only dream about that to fuck serbian girl because they are not cheap and easy as your slut from USA,UK wherever you are from.We do have best nightlife in the world and I dont see whats wrong with that we dont want to fuck with every guy in the club,we come to clubs to have fun with our friends,and my personal opinion:I would never fuck with english,american etc. because I consider you so much under my level (look,brain..) so just find yourself english slut

    1. Ha ha ha, yea right. Especially "brain"! You must be real smart after watching Farma 24h a day. Just like Mimi ORO.

  15. Dear Doot, I thank you for initiation for this discussion. I also want to share my comments on the subject which you are addressing above. I am also of foreign roots and first time in Belgrade and must they that the city itself looks and is a great city specifically due to its history and culture and so are its inhabitants as I spotted. In my country I am coming from – Republic of Georgia (pronounced as: “Sakartvelo” in native) we have a saying: “put on the hat of the place you actually located” or in other words: behave in a way it is accepted locally wherever you are located, and this would mean that before trying to get a joy in a country first start learning about the country you want to visit to get a joy and not because that someone told the night life is cool, because coming from the comments above and your issue I saw that Belgradians have some values like (including but not limited to) friendship, and these very values makes them to differ from others, but for you this would mean that first you need to start to understanding what is the common understanding of joy in Serbia and if friendship is one way to approach the one so deal with it by local approaches and by your native experience and the friendship will open for you new opportunities of joy that may not be the same standard of the ones of your homeland, but local ones which as you will understand later are of different taste and of a different joy. I am David from Tbilisi.

  16. Replies
    1. Would that make Serbia less of a dump?

      It would mean that several Serbs lose their jobs. Do you hate someone telling the truth so much that you'd rather some Serbs lose their jobs in exchange for one job creator in Serbia shutting up about what a dump Serbia is?

    2. You know what would make Serbia less of a dump? Replace Serbs (well, at least a good portion of them) with different people, and ... voilĂ !

      Still think you're crazy for living there, mate. Just sayin'.

  17. I just found this blog and i must say its total and utter bull.
    In belgrade nightlife you can by drugs everywhere.You have some clubs in which everyone is on uppers. Girls are like everywhere else in the world,some want action some dont.
    You have so many gold diggers at those fancy clubs,you just need to look for them and with some good back up story you can get laid for some drinks,especially if you are foreigner.
    Last,maybe your physical look isnt attractive for most of the girls.
    You should know that easiest to pick girls is in the pub or tavernas especially if they are only with girlfriends.

  18. Hi,

    I stumbled across your blogspot when I was looking for information for Party in Belgrade. I always enjoy to get different information than the usual "the best place in the world kind of news". I also do not understand all the hate you are receiving. You obviously dont like it over here and you will probably have your reasons why you are nevertheless here. I believe it should be ok for anybody to write about whatever experiences he makes and have a fair discussion about it.

    However, I dont want to get into this discussion as most people will probably go on hating your blog anyway. (Personally, I would not care too much if somebody who moved to my city hates it).

    The reason I am writing because I would like to share my personal experience of Belgrade nightlife. After reading your blogspot I was prepared for the worst and now that I have had a fantastic night out could not disagree more. I am from Berlin and have been a Berghain regular for almost ten years so I guess its fair to say that I know what a good party looks like. Before coming to Belgrade I posted on couchsurfing to get some decent recommendation for a deep and crazy electro party. The Serbs I met through it were some of the kindest peops I have come across travelling and showed us the KC Drugstore which turned out to be a fantastic party. I also met a ton of great (Serbian) people in there. Some of them invited us to a private after party at 9am. Another guy wrote me three SMS to make sure I find another after party. So in my experience Serbians turned out to be the opposite of closed and "hard to meet". Even regarding the drugs my experience was a different one. About the girls I cannot judge as I was there with my girlfriend but for sure they were some very beautiful looking girls. Maybe you should check out that venue!

    Take care, Mo

  19. Incorrect! Belgrade nightlife is the best of Europe!
    Concerning 'getting laid' I didn't have a problem with that in the past ;)
    Also I believe after 5 visits that serbian people are one of the warmest and open people of Europe! And that's not because they want something from me. Only thing is that I didn't like the 'maffia clubs' where these hotshots sat in the vip. That seems to be the way of partying instead of dancing!. Moje Beograde!! :) An Amsterdam resident.

    1. Belgrade nightlife mostly sucks lol. Not sure what 40+ self-professed social perverts consider a good nightlife but it must be, like, totally whip-ass.

  20. Next time use roofies.