Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Serbian conceits, modern myths.

Many Serbs base their entire personal identity on demonstrably untrue myths.  Often I have had a Serb  boast to me how Serbs invented the fork in the 14th century courts of Czar Dusan.  Since forks were being used in Persia in the 8th century, this is demonstrably false.  Truth doesn't usually get in the way, however, of a Serb offering that Serbs invented the fork, usually as some sort of bombastic retort to, oh, I don't know, pretty much anything.  Say, complaining why it's such a pain to pay bills in Serbia, for example.  "yes, but Serbs invented the fork".  Serbs are quite good at proudly declaring some non-sequitor as though it's a kind of self-evident final conclusion.  Who cares about logic if you say it with sufficient pomposity.

This habit of repeating untruths until they become "common knowledge" doesn't stop with things that may or may not have happened in medieval times.  Serbs cling to certain conceits in modern times until they take on the properties of myth.

A few Serbian conceits I intend to smash soon:

1)  Belgrade has a fantastic nightlife

2)  Life in Serbia is "freer" than in most countries

Stay tuned!


  1. Ahh the Belgrade nightlife mythology. I think think Jung writes extensively on this topic.

  2. ^ Love that comment! Thanks Dr. Pepper, the friendly pepper upper.

  3. Compare it to other capital cities within Europe and you will then be able to understand why they say that. Milan closes all of it's door by 9pm. Huge city, fashion capital and one of the richest in the world and it was all closed by 9pm. Now stfu and gtfoi!

  4. Because nightlife in Milan sucks (I wouldn't know), doesn't mean that Belgrade rocks.

    Belgrade's nightlife is nothing but "OK". Mediocre at best, but there IS lots of it and it is open to 6am (because no one is hooking up).

    Lots of mediocre is still mediocre, even if it's open late.

  5. Belgrade was voted best Night Life in Europe by the British Times and Best Nightlife in the World by The Age.

    I'm guessing an Albanian person with some self-esteem issues is the maker of this blog.

    1. dude.... that was in 2009, 4 years ago!

      That's as long as I've had to spend in this shit-hole -- likely longer that you have ever had to!

      what's the shelf life of a night-life review? 6 weeks? and you're sending me something 4 years old?

      ya!!! keep scraping the bottom of the barrel. You're exactly the kind of person this blog is making fun of.

      BTW, I have 100% Serbian decent, as I have already said in this blog!

    2. Here are some of the most fascinating pieces of bullshit that I've heard from Serbian orangutans, as follows:

      1. Albert Einstein had no merit at all, all the credit of his life's work and contribution should be entirely given to his first wife Mileva Marić (Austro-Hungarian of Serbian descend), from who he stole all of her ideas and used them to become famous, LoL!!

      2. The U.S. Space Program that culminated in sending space ships to the moon, it was actually a Serbian research program, but then U.S. President John F. Kennedy secretly purchased the project's blueprints directly from Tito (ahaaahahaahh!!), and such papers allowed the U.S. to reach the moon thereafter, LMAO!!

      3. Tennis player Novak Djokovic stopped winning as many grand slam tournaments as he should have because some European Union officials told him that he should stop winning as often (aahaahahaaha!!), in order to allow their citizens to get a hold of some trophies, ROLFMAO!!

      And there's several other crazy pieces of junk like that, to which Serbs consider them facts and reality, and all we expats could do is laughing at their stupid faces when we get to hear such ridicule tales... and Milan's night life doesn't really suck, that's just another golden piece of junk conceived to uplift their low self-esteem... ROLFMAO!!!

    3. people are still perpetuating this moon landing thing?

      The Slovenian filmmaker admitted his trailer was a hoax.

  6. ... Just a minute. I'm not sure about the true origins of fork, but the fact is that Serbs used it before Englishmen and Germans. If nightlife was voted the best in 2009, i don't think it could be so bad just four years later; Americans and Europeans didn't bomb us in the meantime. I believe that you have Serbian origins because that is (unfortunately) the main characteristic of many Serbian people - they hate their own land and they are ashamed of it with no proper reason, and they try and try to get in the asses of Americans and Western Europeans, just like our government did for the last decade.

    1. If that's true that Serbs were using the fork before Germans and English (and I don't believe it is), than why is that a source of pride? It should be a source of shame that they have now sunk to such depths.

      btw, Serbia is not "my own land". My grandparents happened to have been born here.

      As for hating it "without proper reason" - you haven't read my blog with full comprehension :)

    2. oh. and Belgrade wasn't "voted" best nightlife, it was the opinion of 1 journalist, 4 years ago.

    3. There we go.... the etymology of the english word "tine" (the prongs of a fork) dates back to the 12th century, 200 years before Czar Dusan.

    4. see how easy and fast it is to disprove serbian bullshit?

  7. Hey D00t
    not sure if you noticed but serbs always leave out an/a/the in their "I speak English like a native speaker" responses.

    That's why Winnie The Pooh in Serbia is just Vini PU!

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Please don't delete displays of impotent rage, Miles. They're entertaining for everyone to read.

      Fortunately, the posts to the blog get sent to my email, so I'll post your response for everyone's entertainment.

      A suggestion for yourself to the Nikola Tesla know the dude who actually invented AC/DC current we currently use.
      Get on a plane and fuck right off to where you came from. Whilst you're there change your surname to smith and be a outright fuckwit in a country that will always consider you a non native...otherwise adapt, learn and start appreciating what you have. Serbia is up shit creek at the moment, but don't forget we have had sanctions, been bombed, isolated and fucked in the arse by even a decrepit country like Albania.
      God willing Serbia will be a prosperous nation one day, but without knobs like you!

      Easy for you to say from Australia, I guess :)

    2. why would I be considered a non-native in the country I was born in? silly

  9. Doot, you are idiot